Prologue: Triple-G Meets The Joker

Jesus, I can’t believe I’m here backstage. When Sam opened the door, I tried really hard to remember her advice and was going to just treat these guys as normal, but DAMN, this was Bon frickin Jovi, and I was a little star struck. Hell, I was a whole lot of star struck; I’d loved and lusted for these guys for most of my life. They were just gonna have to suck it up for a minute, and let me gush.

We just got a glimpse of the guys before they disappeared into the showers. David and Tico were disappearing into their rooms, and Jon and Richie came to give their gals a quick kiss and they were gone. DAMN, I didn't want to be thinking about those two in the showers. I mean, jeez, picturing your girlfriends' boyfriends naked just isn't cool you know? I did, though. Sorry girls I just couldn’t help it.

A short but interminably long few minutes later, Jon and Richie came out of their respective doors at practically the same time. How the hell did they do that? They locked eyes on their ladies, and the grins that split their faces when they saw them was just so cute (sorry, had to do it). Seeing them like that – like guys who just wanted to get cozy with their gals – actually went a long way to normalizing them in my mind.

Stephanie and I wandered off to let the two couples do their own hellos. Eventually, Lucy called me over to get my kiss from Richie. Actually, she just called me over for a kiss, and I made a smart ass remark about her not being my type, but I’d gladly take one from Zan Man (or two or three, but hey, no need to be greedy, right ha ha) Anyway, it took every last shred of self-control I had to not run across the room. I was shaking like a leaf. Talk about a fantasy come true!

I was so very pleasantly surprised when the kiss was more than a chaste peck on the cheek. Richie grabbed me and I swear to God, just the feel of his arms around me nearly sent me over the edge. Yeah. That edge. When he dipped me and dropped a saucy kiss on my lips, damn, he made me glad I was a woman. Whew. Lucy is one lucky lady. I mean, he wasn’t even trying, and he nearly had me melted in a puddle at his feet. Damn. Lucy was laughing at me. Although we’d never met, she’d never known me to be at a loss for words, and man, I was at a loss now. Stephanie got her kiss too – I only know this because we compared notes afterwards. Steph and I were both sort of stunned, and we staggered off together to chat quietly and try to recover. That’s when we noticed Tico at the bar.

Steph and I went to say hi, and then I went to talk to the bartender and get a drink while Stephanie talked to Tico about getting her drumstick autographed. Now, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me – I’m not a lush or anything, but I do enjoy social drinking. I also have strange metabolism. Chocolate won’t burn out of my system without hundreds of sit-ups, but alcohol I burn off quickly. I still won’t drive if I’ve been drinking mind you, but I can put quite a few away before I’m drunk. Once I get there, though, I’m a ve-e-e-ery affectionate and flirty drunk, and I get kinda naughty when I tie one on. I was well on my way to naughty tonight, and really ought to switch to seltzer.

I was talking to Sam and Jon, and had just put my empty glass down on a table when I heard a strong, familiar voice call out, “Hey there, Hathor.” I turned to see David coming toward me with a drink in each hand. His hair was still damp from the shower. I smiled at him; he looked really cute.

“Hey yourself,” I said. I was still a bit overwhelmed – wait, who am I kidding, I was frickin’ beside myself – at everything that was happening, but I was having a great time. I accepted a luscious-smelling margarita from David, and clicked my glass to his before drinking deeply. I closed my eyes as I swallowed; the alcohol not really soothing me, but helping to take the edge off. I could see mischief sparkling in David’s deep blue eyes as he watched me, and that impish grin told me that tonight was about to get WAY more interesting.

Fortified by some top-shelf tequila, I grinned up at him (shit, he’s tall) and asked, “What’s shakin’, bacon?” David laughed and turned to shake his ass at me. I laughed and shook my head. “Sorry, sweetie, it’s not as good as Jon’s.” Jon and Sam laughed at that, and excused themselves – probably going to go neck, the cuties. But shit, I can’t believe I said that out loud. Guess I was on smart ass autopilot. Thank God for autopilot, or I would have just stood there staring at him like an idiot. I was still wrapping my head around the fact that Richie Sambora just kissed me, and now I was having drinks and a private conversation with David Fucking Bryan, and I already had my share of ‘ritas on board before this one – aaah! I was trying SO hard to be good, but I was fighting a losing battle.

I considered David, my perusal slow and thorough. Ang (aka UKFootyDunce on the board) would kill to be where I was now. She’s a total David girl, and up close, I could see why. He just has this playful aura that makes you want to talk to him. It didn’t hurt that he was tall and muscular and blonde over blue with a killer smile, either. I couldn’t even tell her about meeting him though, because she didn’t know the ‘secret’ of Zan’s identity. Damn this was gonna kill me, but I had to keep it to myself.
“You guys were fantastic tonight,” I said to him conversationally, sipping my drink through the straw now, and trying to act normal. Well, normal for me, anyway. I think I was pulling it off – that didn’t sound too fannish.

David laughed and thanked me and gave me a hug, and oh, I couldn’t breathe. Damn, he was strong, and he smelled faintly of Old Spice. Call me corny, but that’s a man’s scent. None of this frou-frou stuff you buy at the department store counter. He left an arm looped around my shoulders, his fingertips nearly but not quite grazing my breast, and leaned in close to me. He slowly tucked my hair behind my ear, and leaned even closer to whisper to me. I could practically feel his lips on me as he breathed, and I think my heart stopped for a minute. “Fuck you, darlin’,” he rumbled.

I hip-checked him and turned to look him in the eye. “Are you offering your services, sweetheart?” His eyes narrowed at that. Here we go.

“You didn’t even notice any of us up there except Swingman, sorry, ‘Zan’, over there.” David looked at me expectantly, the gauntlet clearly thrown down.

Alright, he wanted to play; who am I to disappoint? That hug was obviously meant to fluster me. His light touch and gentle breath in my ear was certainly meant to distract me. Boy did he have another thing coming. It almost worked, but I remembered that this was just Noel after all, and I could handle that bitch with one hand tied behind my back.

“Well,” I said, “I definitely saw you darlin’,” I said softly, drawling that last word provocatively. Our eyes locked on each other, and I swear I heard a “click” as they met. Hmmm. Interesting.

I ran a light, teasing hand slowly across and down one side of his chest and back up the other; my eyes following my hand like it was doing the most interesting things. I walked slowly around him, my hand trailing gently along his shoulders. I could feel tension in his shoulders, and I itched to massage the knots away.

I looked up to see Lucy and Richie watching me. They’d seen me spar with ‘Noel’ on the board but they had never actually seen me in action. I think I was shocking Lucy; she was giving me a really strange look. The two of them were sidling closer to the two of us, interested to see what would happen. I turned my full attention back to David, and let my hand drift down to his waist and just for a moment, over his tight ass before trailing back up his arm. The way I looked at it, I wasn’t getting another shot at this, so I was going all out – balls to the wall as it were.

When I finished my orbit, I smiled sweetly at David, and tilted my head to one side. “Hell, baby, it was impossible not to notice you up there.” I winked at him, and licked my lips, flicking my gaze briefly to his mouth. “Especially when I saw you in that hideous black-on-black striped stage shirt,” I said. “The eighties are over, you know.”

Lucy stifled a giggle, turning her face into Richie’s shoulder, and I knew I was in the groove. I plucked at the chest of his shirt with two fingers like it was a snot-covered rag, distaste showing in my face. “Now look at this one. WAY too many colors here sweetheart. Seriously, David, I meant what I said in my PM after the SNL gig: you’ve gotta stop picking your own stage clothes, honey.”

He nodded slightly, my parry clearly a match for his opening thrust. “Are you offering your services, sweetheart?” he threw my words back in my face, raking his eyes over my own tight shirt and cropped jacket. Shit, his gaze was so sharp, I could almost feel it. He slowly reached out to take the lapels of my leather jacket in his hands, and rubbed his thumbs across them. The backs of his fingers rested high on my breasts, and my pulse kicked up. He was hardly touching me and he was getting to me. Damn, he’s good. “You seem to have good taste,” he said.

I smiled and took a step back from him. “Baby, there isn’t anything just ‘good’ about me.” I did a slow pirouette, my arms slightly raised over my head, hiding nothing. “I am spectacular, and don’t you forget it. Anyway,” I said, taking another sip of my drink. “You wouldn’t listen to my advice just to spite me, and you would end up in something worse than that.”

David looked at me, a crushed expression on his face, the faker. His eyes were still twinkling. This was getting really fun. “I’ll have you know, Hathor, that this is one of my most favorite shirts, and it isn’t one of my stage shirts, as you call them.”

I shrugged, feigning indifference, and looked around the room. Queenie and Tico had joined Richie and Luce. When did that happen? “I guess, then,” I said, “that you just have bad taste.”

He laughed. “No shit, look who I’m standing here talking to.” Touché. I could hear Richie and Tico chuckling.

I smiled over the rim of my glass, and made sure I had David’s full attention. His smile faltered when I took my time looping my tongue around the straw and drawing it into my mouth. I took a long pull, and raised my head when I swallowed, exposing my throat. I could feel his gaze burning my skin. He may be good at this, damn it, but so am I.

After licking my lips seductively, I said, “You sought me out, sweetheart, so I concede that at least part of the taste centers of your brain are working properly.” I gave him another slow once-over. Jesus, he was tall and big in his own way. He wasn’t huge, but you could tell he was all muscle. Wow. I had to remember we were just playing a game, but damn, it was hard to do. I stopped my perusal at his crotch, and winged an eyebrow at him. “Though I don’t see how your brain is functioning at all, seeing as how all the blood is rushing,” I made a vague motion toward his pants, “well, there.”

“Nice of you to notice,” he said slyly.

“Hard not to, baby,” I said, emphasizing the first word, “when you’re pointing that thing at me.” I smiled sweetly at him. “Do you need to go take care of that before you can have a Goddess-worthy conversation?”

“Ouch,” Tico said from behind me. I had forgotten that the others were there. At some point, Jon and Sam, arms around each other, had joined the crowd. Jesus, how did I not notice THAT? David must really have my number tonight.

The girls and I exchanged smiles, and I winked at Sam before turning to look Tico, fear in my features. “You didn’t make my drink, did you?”

He looked puzzled. “No, why? What’s wrong?”

“Just wondering if I need to dial 9-1-1, that’s all.” I took a sip and looked at him. Jon let out a Jersey “OOOHHHH!”, and everyone burst out laughing. Tico had made a mojito for Sam the first time they met, and the fresh mint sent her to the hospital in the throes of an allergy attack. He still felt horrible about it, even though Sam was fine and not holding a grudge.

“Ohh, Goddess, what’d I ever do to you?” he asked. Hearing ‘Ohh, Goddess’ come from that deep baritone throat, well, hell. Between that, Richie’s kiss, and this serious flirting with David, I was gonna have good dreams tonight. Either that or I wasn’t going to sleep for week.

The blood rushed from my face as I realized what I had just done, though. I kinda wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. I blinked and blushed, and looked square into Tico’s deep, dark eyes. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” I said, putting a gentle hand on his forearm. “Once I get going, well, Queenie and Lucy will tell you…”

“Yeah,” they said in unison, laughing. Lucy continued. “GSA will leave the building, and be replaced with…” She gestured to Stephanie.

Stephanie cleared her throat and lowered her voice, imitating a sports announcer. “And now, entering the ring, all the way from Bahstin,” she did a good Claven, I was proud of her, “the one, the only, the Goddess, Triple-G!” The girls started cheering and clapping. I took a bow and struck a bodybuilder pose, flexing what I had for biceps, and locking eyes with David, my worthy opponent.

“Triple-G, huh?” David asked.

“Show him your tat,” Stephanie said.

I laughed. “Sure, only if he shows me the Joker first.” Did I really just ask him to take his shirt off for me? Step away from the margaritas, Goddess. Jesus. Stephanie just laughed and grabbed the camera from my shoulder, and pointed it at us.

“Both of you together,” she said. “I’ll take a picture.”

David looked at me and winked saucily, as he started to slowly unbutton the horrible shirt’s buttons. The tip of his tongue was visible through his slightly parted lips, and his eyes were locked on mine. What the hell was going on here?

I stepped up to gently push his hands away and whispered, “Let me do that for you.” I slipped each button through its hole and soon the garment hung open on his frame. I reached up to ease my hands under the shirt at his shoulders, Jesus his skin was soft and warm, and slid my hands down his solid arms to make it slip to the floor. I trailed my hands back up his arms and across to his tattoo. I got a good, up-close look at the Joker. It really is great work. “Very nice, baby,” I said, tracing it tenderly with my fingertips, feeling the muscle beneath it twitch.

He nodded to me and swallowed hard, but didn’t back away, so I left my hands on him. I could see his pulse throbbing at his throat, and his deep blue eyes turned cobalt. With a decidedly husky voice, David asked me, “What do I get to take off you to see your ink?” I heard the collective gasp from my girlfriends. Holy shit. This was getting serious now. But, in for a penny, in for a pound as they say.

I tossed my hair back and blinked slowly at him, stepping back to put my hands on my hips. “Something in sexy black leather, but oh,” I pouted, speaking very softly, “my pants are in the way.” I was looking straight into his eyes and biting my lower lip. We stood there for a moment just staring at each other. I think I was seeing things because his eyes seemed to darken even more. I didn’t think that was possible. The tension I’d been feeling had lost its fun edge about ten minutes ago, and was now making me twitchy. The room was dead silent. David slightly raised the hem of my t-shirt and reached for the button on my jeans, nearly having it undone before I stilled his hands and stepped back, smiling. “It’s on my ankle, perv,” I said, “under my sexy black leather boot.”

Richie laughed and stepped up to clap a hand on David’s shoulder. “She had you going there,” he said. He kissed my cheek and whispered, “Nicely done, darlin’,” in my ear. I didn’t even really hear Richie; my focus was on David. He hadn’t looked away from me yet, either. Looks like I won that round. Maybe. Was this even still a game?

I blew out an unsteady breath. I have to admit I was way outta my league here, and up to now I was having too much fun to notice. Now that I did notice, however, I was feeling more than a little shy. I have all the self-confidence in the world, but still have those moments, you know? This was one of them. I ducked my head and sat down to roll up my pants leg, exposing the zipper on my knee-high boot. I sensed rather than saw eyes on me as I fumbled with the zipper pull.

Before I could get a grip on that frickin’ little tab of metal, David was kneeling at my feet, and gently pushing my hands away. “Fair’s fair, sweetheart,” he said. He pierced me with his gaze, and slowly inched the zipper down the length of my boot while he held my calf with the other hand. He peeled the soft, supple leather from my leg, and I pulled out a freshly-pedicured foot; making a little moan when I wiggled my purple-tipped toes. I loved these boots, but it was a little cramped in there. David rubbed my foot, sending strange little shocks up my leg.

“Was that moan for me,” David asked, as he held my foot.

“You think all you’d elicit from me is that little ol’ moan?” I replied, a smirk on my face. I shook my head and cupped his cheek, leaning in really close to him – so close, our mouths were almost touching. “Darlin’, that sure would be a disappointment.”

David’s eyes flashed hot and I thought I had finally stepped over the line. I wasn’t really afraid, mind you; I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but I hoped that I hadn’t just spoiled the fun. A slow smile spread across his face, and I knew I had just walked into something. Something I wasn’t sure I could GSA my way out of. His smile turned evil as he slid his hand up my leg and rested it high on my thigh and said, “Darlin’? Moaning wouldn’t begin to cover it; I’d make a screamer out of you.”

Whew, that was an easy one. “Baby,” I said, “I’m already a screamer.” I inched his hand up higher on my thigh, so his fingertip was a breath away from the junction of my legs. “What I want to know is: can you make me pass out?”

David gave a startled blink, and I suddenly remembered that there were other people in the room. When I looked up, it was to see everyone staring at me. You ever hear that word ‘agog’? Well, this was the very picture of it. I’m pretty sure I won this one.

Judging by everyone’s expressions, I was either doing something completely right or completely wrong. At this point, however, I didn’t care which; I just wanted to ease the pressure that was building in my chest. I swallowed hard, and slowly extended my leg up into the air, showing off my ink. Thank God Stephanie broke the silence and recounted the story behind the ink (I owe you one for that, girlfriend). Everyone laughed, and the tension was broken.

A buff and shirtless David sat on the floor in front of me, and I took a minute to admire the Taz tat on his shoulder, touching it hesitantly. His fists clenched when I touched him. Guess not all the tension was diffused. I put my leg around his shoulder, turning it so Steph could see the tat, then leaned down to loop my arms around his neck. David grabbed onto my foot with one hand and my looped arms with the other, pulling my chest in tight to his back. We smiled silly smiles for the camera as Stephanie snapped a couple of pictures. When I moved to get up, David’s hands tightened and he said, “One more picture, Queenie.” I rolled my eyes and hunkered down again and when Steph said “ready” David said my name softly. When I turned my head to look at him, he kissed me – just a mere brush of his lips against mine.

Game, set, and match to the Joker.

I’ve gotta say, this was one of my favorite battles.

And I didn’t mind losing one little bit.

After that, the rest of the party was anti-climactic. David put his ugly shirt back on, I put my sexy boot back on, and Richie and Lucy tried to sneak away. Hah! Like I was gonna let that happen. No way were they getting out of there without a parting shot! I called across the room to Lucy nice and loud, as they were almost out of the room. Well that isn’t the only reason. I am, after all, a smart-ass. “Lucy!” I called. She turned and I yelled, “DEETS GIRLFRIEND! WE WANT DEETS!” She turned beet red, and they made their escape.

I saw that Jon and Sam were getting ready to leave, so were Steph and Tico, though not together. David kept sliding glances at me, and I didn’t know what to do with that. I went to gather my things, and there was a knock on the door. Jon answered it, and it was Gretchen, coming in to see if anyone wanted to head out for drinks at the hotel. They were staying at the Hilton, too. Stephanie and I said sure, what the hell, and after exchanging hugs with everyone (I think David held me a little closer than the rest of them, but that could just be my imagination), we girls left with Gretchen.