So, here it is. My David Story.

A little background...

I participated in an interactive fan fiction on a friend's site, and my character ended up with David. I spent so much time immersing myself in his music and stories about him (which are hard to find, by the way) that he took over my thoughts for quite some time. I couldn't get him out of my head. He's still in there, rattling doors and opening drawers and such, but he's behaving himself. Mostly.

This story came out as an outlet for me to try to get through my little obsession. I told some of the girls from the other fan fic exercise, and they thought it was hysterical that I got so wrapped up, that I couldn't think of anything but him.

They convinced me to "go public" with the story, so here it is.

I hope you enjoy it. It starts here.

~ Hath

Chapter 83: The Movers are Here?

Sunday, March 23, 2008

“Yoooo Hooo!” a voice called from the front door. Ang smiled. Hath had warned her about her Mom popping in.

“I’m here,” she called, and came down the hall.

“Angel? Is that you, sweetie?”

“Yes,” Ang said, as she came to the entry way. She laughed when she saw an older version of Hath standing there, arms laden with trays. “Let me help you with that, Mrs. G,” she said.

“Thank you,” Pauline said, handing half the trays to Ang. “Let’s get this in the kitchen, then we can have a proper hello.”

They brought everything into the kitchen, set it down on the counters, then Pauline brought Ang in for a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. “I’m so glad to meet you,” she said. “Are you one of her online friends?”

“Sure am. Angel Jamieson, at your service,” she said.

“Ah,” Pauline said. “You’re the Londoner. How’re you enjoying your travels? Jenilee’s been showing me the pictures you’re sending her. They’re gorgeous.”

Ang and Pauline chatted on about the places Ang had seen and where she still wanted to go, and it turned to Nathan and their budding relationship. Never one to leave her two cents’ worth out, Pauline said, “sounds like you have some tough decisions to make about what you want to do. Let your heart guide you, but make sure your brain chimes in.”

Ang rolled her eyes. “I know that, Mrs. G., but how do I trust what my heart is telling me?”

“You just do,” she said with a shrug. “The heart knows,” she said, patting Ang’s knee.

Pauline put on coffee and unwrapped one of the parcels she had brought. “I just made these,” she said, and Ang inhaled deeply.

“Anise cookies!” She picked one up and took a bit out of it. “Mmmm, these are fantastic!”

“Jenilee likes them, and her sweet tooth is firing on overtime with these babies, so I thought I’d bring her some.”

“Which box is hers, then?” Ang asked with a smile.

Pauline pulled one from the stack on the counter. “This one,” she said, and put it in the freezer. They packed the fridge with delicious food, and Ang just gaped. “You do know she’s only here another week, right?”

“Yes,” Pauline said, “but I can guarantee most of this will be gone tonight.” Ang’s eyes went wide. “My son’s friends put a swarm of locusts to shame. Thank you for helping keep this party a surprise. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s my pleasure, Mrs. G. Believe me, shopping with Hath is no hardship. That girl knows how to hit the stores! In fact,” Ang said, looking at the clock, “I’d better get my rear in gear and get in the shower. David’ll be here soon, and I want to be dressed when that happens.”

Pauline’s eyes went wide. “What do you mean?”

Ang laughed at Hath’s Mom’s reaction. “No, no, no, just that he’d be a pain in the ass rattling doorknobs and such. It’ll be fine, I swear it.”

“Alright,” Pauline said. “I’ll leave you to it. See you tonight, and leave some food, huh?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ang said, snapping off a sharp salute.

David arrived as Pauline was leaving. In fact, his car pulled in as she was leaving the house. “Mom!” he called, genuinely pleased to see her.

“David!” she beamed, and descended to him. Giving him a big hug, she said, “It’s so good to see you.” The she smacked him sharply on the ass. “That’s for getting my daughter pregnant before marrying her.”

David laughed, and rubbed at the sting. “It wasn’t on purpose,” he said.

“I know, and it wasn’t all you. Believe me, Jenilee got her ass smacked for her, too.” Pauline smiled. “But, at least you’re giving me TWO grandbabies to spoil.” Now she pouted. “But you’re taking them away from me.”

“Aw Mom,” David said, looping an arm around his future mother-in-law’s shoulders. “You know you’re welcome to visit anytime, and it’s not that far – I’m sure Hath will be…”

“Busy!” Pauline interrupted. “She told me a little about what she’ll be doing for that Jon, and it sounds like he’s going to keep her busy.”

“Well, probably,” David said sheepishly, “but that doesn’t mean she won’t have time off.”

Pauline flapped her hand at David. “Jenilee isn’t home, you know.”

David blushed. “I know, I just came back from lunch with her. Is Ang here?”

“Yes, she is. Lovely girl, and so tall!”

“And she eats like a horse, too,” David added, which earned him another smack. “Ow! Now I know where Hath gets it from,” he groused, rubbing his arm.

“Be nice, David.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered with a grin.

“And don’t be a smart ass to me, mister,” she admonished, but her eyes twinkled with laughter. “She was heading for the shower when I left, just so you’re warned.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” David smirked. “She’s heading into town shortly to get Hath out and shopping. She’s going to call when they’re on the way back here. Everything all set?”

“Yes. Susan and John with his frat friends will be here at six to help decorate, and the others will be here by seven.” She clapped her hands together. “I think she’ll be surprised.”

David thought of the payback he had lined up and smiled. “I think you may just be right.”

* * * * *

Ang and I had a fantastic time shopping. Ang said David had behaved himself for the most part, though he did rattle her doorknob when he went past, and actually sent his credit card with her for us to use. He told her to tell me that we were to buy something on him. What a sweetie. Nieman Marcus, here we come! We must have tried on everything in the store. I settled on a few maternity outfits for when the LJs get bigger, and found the cutest little “I heart Boston” rompers that were ridiculously expensive, but too cute to pass up. Ang bought a shitload of stuff, too, but we were good and only used David’s card a little.

Laden with bags, we took a later train home than I had anticipated, and my stomach was growling. I seriously hoped Ang was kidding when she said that she ate all the food my mother had sent over. Ang made a quick call when we got back to the car and I looked at her, puzzled.

“Just checking in with Natalie,” she said, smiling.

“When’s he coming again?”

“About ten minutes after he gets to your place,” Ang answered with a devilish grin.

I poked her HARD in the ribs. “TMI, girlfriend, ick!!”

Ang just laughed. “He’ll be here sometime late Saturday morning. Uh, what are your plans?”

“I’m going to my brother’s in the morning to subtly find out about his plans for the evening and to hang out with the puppies and my niece. Call me when it’s safe, and I’ll come home.” I stuck my tongue out at her, and laughed when she turned eight shades of red.

We pulled onto my street, and I commented that the neighbors must be having a party because there were so many cars. “Should we go crash?” Ang asked.

I just shook my head. “Nah, I’m kinda looking forward to a lazy night at home,” I said. I should’ve known better. We pulled into the garage and trudged up the stairs with our parcels and bags, and dumped everything on the floor. “We’ll deal with this shit in the morning,” I declared, and led the way through the game room into the house.

I opened the door and called, “David, baby, where are you?”

“Living room, sexy Momma,” he called back.

I trudged down the hall, shedding my jacket on the way. “What do you want to…”


I nearly shit myself, and I did jump a mile. “What the hell?” I turned around and there were my parents, my brother and his wife, the FratPack, and my girlfriends with their husbands. “What are you guys doing here?” I asked as I passed out hugs and kisses.

Mom said, “We wanted to throw you a surprise going away party, and, well, surprise!”

Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked at everyone I was leaving behind. That set my girlfriends off, and we had to hug again. We broke apart and wiped our eyes, and I went to David, and melted into his embrace. “This is wonderful,” I said, kissing him tenderly. “Thank you.”

I looked at Ang. “And you,” I said, going to hug her. “You were perfect. I didn’t suspect a thing.” I gave her a smacking kiss on the cheek.

David looked at us. “Speaking of which…”

Ang smiled and took David’s credit card from her pocket; along with a receipt she sweet-talked the salesman into doing up for us. It was completely bogus; we didn’t spend nearly that much, but we wanted to see his reaction.

He glanced at it, and shoved it into his pocket without saying a word.

“Wait a second,” I said, reaching into David’s pocket and pulling out the receipt. “This receipt is for more than seven THOUSAND dollars, and you didn’t even raise an eyebrow?”

My father looked at me. “You spent seven thousand dollars today?” He went white. In my whole life, I’ve never done anything THAT irresponsible with money (even when it wasn’t my own), and he was shocked.

David just shrugged. “What? I told you to buy what you wanted.” He colored a little and said in a low voice, “it’s not like I can’t afford it.”

“You are no fun,” Ang complained. “That’s totally fake. We didn’t spend that much. Spoilsport.”

My dad relaxed, we all laughed, and I introduced Ang to everyone she hadn’t met yet; including my darling little brother. He looked Ang up and down and smiled. “She said you were tall…”

I knew what was coming. I made sure nobody was too near John and Ang, and when he put his hand out to shake hers, she stepped into him, threw her shoulder into his chest and heaved. He landed with a thunk and looked at her.
“What the fuck was that for?” he groused.

“Paybacks are a bitch, aren’t they alarm boy?”

John just looked at me. “You told her to do this? How could you?” He’d gotten up, but was walking gingerly, the faker.

“You had the COPS out to my house!” I answered. “You’re lucky this is ALL I did!” Little did he know, that the real payback was yet to come.

Laughing, we dug into the spread my Mom had laid out. The LJs were hungry – everyone outta my way!! We were laughing and talking when the doorbell rang. I looked around; everyone seemed to be here. Shrugging, I went to answer it.

There on the front porch are two men with clipboards, dressed in movers’ uniforms. “You Hathor?” one of them, Ben according to his name patch, asked.

“Yes, can I help you?”

“We’re here to drop off the truck for you? You asked for it a few days early.”

He was right, I did ask that, but that was for next week. “Next week,” I said. “I’m not moving until next week.”

“Well, shit,” the other (Marc) said. “Sorry, ma’am. Uh, could we come in and use your phone to call in? It’s a toll-free number.”

I was just so shocked that the moving company screwed this up. I mean, it isn’t that hard, is it? But, it wasn’t these guys’ fault. “Sure,” I said, “Come on in. Phone’s in the kitchen.” It never occurred to me to wonder why they didn't have radios or cell phones or anything, and why they smirked at me when they came in. They passed into the kitchen. I had just gotten back to the living room and was bitching about the movers when the music started. Not just the regular music I had on the trusty iPod, either. This was raunchy, porno-soundtrack quality music.

Shocked, I turned around, and those two moving men are dancing in my living room! Jesus Christ, my parents are here! Dad grabbed his beer and took off for the relative safety of the kitchen; my brother was right behind him. David followed behind them, but I think he was laughing.

My Mom is just sitting there, too shocked to move, which is a mistake because CockBoys’ packages are right at her head level. Ang is just floored, and her mouth is gaping open. Ben handed me a card that says, "We have your bubble wrap, baby! Love, Ang". I looked at her.

“YOU did this?” I said, and handed her the card. The shock on her face was real.

“No fucking way,” she said. “I swear it.”

At that moment, the dancers ripped away their velcro-ed on coveralls to reveal these little bubble-wrap underwear. Oh my God, it was so fucking funny. My mom just about fell off her chair. These guys were truly, erm, equipped for this particular job. Wow. My girlfriends were all cheering and laughing and even the FratPack was enjoying themselves, though that may have been the liquor talking.I was still glaring at Ang when the light bulb (spotlight) went on. “DAVID!” we shouted together. The little shit just burst out laughing. The BAHSTID! He got us back but good. Ben danced over to me, and waved his plastic-wrapped weenie at me. I looked right at David, smiled sweetly, and grabbed Ben’s dick. I squeezed it hard enough to pop some of the bubble wrap, and David’s eyes went wide.

“Jenilee!” my mother shouted, mortified. “Go wash your hands. You don’t know where that thing has been!”

What? Mom? Well, I’m one to listen to her momma -- I went to wash my hands. When I came back, I heard another *pop*. Mom had just pinched Marc’s ass (I am NEVER getting that image out of my head, unfortunately) and more bubble wrap met its doom. Eventually, everyone popped a bubble or two (well us girls anyway) and we had a whole lot of laughter, to the point of tears. The now naked dancers tried to hug me before they left, but I wanted to wait until they were dressed.


Joviswoman said...


Bloody brill H!

TrishSambora said...


I actually snorted at this comment

Go wash your hands. You don’t know where that thing has been.

Too fricking funny!!!