Chapter 58: Fun and Paybacks

“So, where are Ang and I sleeping?” I asked Lucy. I had one of my bags, and David had the others. Lucy pointed the way down the hall to the guest room.

“Hey, tell me again why you aren’t sleeping with me tonight?” David was actually pouting as he stacked my bags next to the bed.

“Baby, we went through this,” I sighed. “It’s just one night. I want to spend it with my girls.” I walked over to him and wound my arms around his neck, kissing him. “Surely you can survive one night in the same city with me and different beds.” David backed me up until I was against the wall, and ground into me.

“Can and want to are two different things,” he said, framing my face with his hands.

“Christ almighty, will you two give it a rest?” Ang was standing in the doorway and laughing at us. She came in the room and dropped her bags by mine. “Jon is looking for you,” she said to me.

“Tough shit,” I answered, lost in David’s eyes.

“I heard that, Jeeves. You backing out of this bet already?” Jon shook his head. “I thought you were made of sterner stuff than that,” he said.

I groaned and rested my forehead on David’s. “Jon, your timing sucks, but I am not backing out.” I grabbed my purse. “What do you need?”

"A driver," Jon answered, grinning unabashedly. "And, here," he told her, throwing something at me like a Frisbee, "you'll need this." Christ on a crutch it’s a chauffeur’s hat. I was going to remind him about the no costume clause in our agreement, but he was so pleased with himself, and was laughing delightedly when I caught the chauffeur's hat deftly with one hand. I plunked the hat on my head and pulled a face at Jon, "Let's go, Jeeves," he called over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

I kissed David quickly and disappeared out the door behind Jon. I followed him to the front door. "Where are we going?" I asked him.

"I've got some errands to run," he answered vaguely. "I'll explain on the way." He handed me the keys to Lucy's Ford Taurus.

“Aw, Lucy,” I complained. “A big rock star like Jon deserves to be chauffeured around in a Lexus, don’t you think? I mean isn’t he worth it?”

Lucy laughed at me. “Hell no,” she said, and waved sweetly at Jon. “Nice try, though.”

When we got outside, Jon walked over to the passenger side of the car and waited by the back door. I opened the driver's door and started to get in the car. "Uh, aren't you forgetting something?" he asked me.

“Fuck,” I swore softly under my breath, but flashed him a brilliant smile. "Oh, of course!" I said, slapping my forehead, "The big rock star needs the door opened for him. God forbid he break a finger on the door handle."

Jon laughed at me again. Why do I feel he’s going to be doing a lot of that this week? "Well, it would hinder my guitar playing tomorrow night," he answered, matching my sarcasm perfectly tone for tone, and waggling his fingers at me as he climbed into the car. I reached for his seatbelt, but he stopped me. "I'll handle my own seatbelt. Thank you, Jeeves."

Smiling, I slammed the car door and calmly walked back around to the driver's door. Getting in the car and fastening my own belt, I started the car before asking him, "Where to, HRH?"

"A drug store," he answered. "Lucy said there was one right down the street. Turn left out of the driveway and go about ten blocks and it's on the right."

I followed his directions and was soon pulling into the store's parking lot. Quickly finding a good parking spot, I put the car into park and looked at Jon in the rear view mirror. "Here we are, HRH. I'll just wait here."

"No you won't," Jon told me. "You're going to run in and pick up something for me." He handed her a some cash. “You are to get three boxes of condoms, non-lubricated, please.” I swallowed hard. There was no way I was going to let this embarrass me. I’m a pregnant woman for Christ’s sake; I obviously know my way around a man’s dick. I took the money from Jon and climbed out of the car. "Be back in a flash," I said, before slamming the door.

I was only a few feet from the car when Jon rolled down the window and called out, "Oh, and ask them where the nearest florist shop is." He didn't wait for me to answer, just rolled the window right back up. He’s got the arrogant rock star thing down pat.

I went into the store, and went straight to the pharmacy, where they usually keep these things. I didn’t want to even think about what these were for, Sam was already pregnant, for God’s sake. If he was having me run an errand for Richie, I was gonna kill him. I just grabbed three boxes off the shelf and brought them to the counter. The girl behind the counter snickered as she rang them up.

“Got a problem, sweetheart?” I asked her sweetly.

“No, ma’am,” she said, struggling to put on a straight face.

“Good,” I said. “I’m glad my weekend plans amuse you, but it’s really none of your business. Now, where’s the nearest florist’s shop?”

The shock on her face was worth the smart-ass remark. A few minutes later, I emerged from the drug store none the worse for wear. Calmly, I climbed back in the car and tossed Jon the bag over the seat. I didn’t want to know what they were for. I really didn’t.

At the florist, Jon got out of the car. "I'll be right back," he announced, right before he slammed the car door, taking the bag with him.

He wasn’t in there more than ten minutes, but when he came out, the bag was gone. I’ll bet the son of a bitch threw them away. Shit, he just wanted to try to embarrass me in the drug store, the bastard. I didn’t mention anything to him when he got back in the car. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.

After several more stops that appeared to have no significance whatsoever, Jon had me drive him back to Lucy's. Jon waited in the car for me to open the door for him. I seriously considered locking the car, setting the alarm, and leaving his ass out there. I didn’t though, and he casually strolled into the house.

We got back to Lucy’s around five. That left me just enough time to grab a shower, and get ready to go out with the girls. After washing and loofah-ing and moisturizing, I donned my undies and pasties, threw on the robe, and peeked out the door to make sure the coast was clear before scooting across the hall to get ready with the rest of the girls.

It was like a sorority house in that room. Our stuff was spread out all over the place, and we had hair dryers, curling irons, and the iPod all going. We were having a hell of a time. I had just strapped my high-heeled, snakeskin Jimmy sandals to my feet and dropped my robe when the doorbell rang. I heard Jon yell, “Jeeves! Door!”

I rolled my eyes, and gingerly made my way to the door. I opened it a crack and yelled, “Jon! I’m naked, get it yourself!” and slammed the door again. We girls dissolved in a fit of giggles that turned to a scream when there was a pounding at the door.

“Jeeves, put on your robe, drag your ass out here, and answer the door. Do not make me come in there.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Ang said, staring defiantly at the door. The knob turned, and I threw myself against the door.

“Alright!” I shrieked. I re-donned my robe, made sure the other girls were covered, and opened the door enough to slip through. “Back off, HRH,” I said, and strode from the room, closing the door.

Jon called through, “You girls are going to want to see this.”

“What did you do?” I asked him, horrified.

“Oh, just a little something called paybacks, baby.”

I groaned, and made my way to the front door.

David stopped me before I could get to the door. He’d perked up when he’d heard Jon say “watch this” and came out of the den when he heard me yell that I was naked. “You are not answering the door like that,” he said.

I looked down at myself. The robe had come apart a little, and it was clear the girls were unslung. “Tell him,” I said, jerking my head at Jon. I looked over David’s shoulder and saw that nobody was over there, so I unbelted, flashed David, and re-belted my robe more securely over myself.

“Jesus Christ, Hath!” he said. “You are practically naked under there.”

“I am aware,” I said. I turned back to look over my shoulder. “You do know that you said our nights were our own,” I said to Jon. “You’re perilously close to being over the line here.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, smirking. “Just open the door.”

Angrily, I jerked the door open to see a blushing delivery guy. He was all of eighteen, and really, I couldn't blame him, I'd be blushing too in his shoes. I mean between what he was holding in his arms, the fact that he recognized Jon, who thought he should hover behind me, not to mention the fact that I was standing over 6 feet tall in exquisite shoes and little else, it’s a wonder he didn’t melt on the porch.

I felt badly for him, and some of the anger dissipated. I took in the sight before me. The guy stood holding a bouquet, if you could call it that, of artificial roses. The flowers were shaped using unopened condoms for the petals. Tied to the lovely lead crystal vase were several helium filled condoms, the little blimps floating proudly in the air above the delivery guy's head. I had to bite back a chuckle. I didn’t want to laugh in this guy’s face and didn’t want Jon to have the satisfaction.

"Are you Hath?" the guy asked sheepishly.

"Yeah, I guess," I answered reluctantly.

"She is," Jon confirmed from behind me. I gave him a look, but he just smiled at me.

"Then here," the guy said, thrusting the bouquet toward me, obviously eager to get rid of it.

I took the vase and smiled my sweetest smile at the guy. "Thanks, I suppose." Then I turned toward Jon, "There's no way in hell I'm tipping him for this."

Jon laughed. "But, it's your delivery," he pointed out.

"No way," I told him, and walked off.

Jon quickly tipped the guy and closed the door, hurrying to catch up with me. Wasn’t this it? What did he want now?

I walked into the den to find all the girls gathered around in their robes, waiting for me. I rolled my eyes. The guys all just lounged around the room acting like they weren't the least bit interested in what was going on, but they all had their eyes on me. Ordinarily a room full of beautiful men with their eyes glued to me would make me feel quite good, but for some reason it didn’t work for me tonight. With as much dignity as I could muster, and quite calmly if you ask me, I put the vase on the coffee table, and turned back to Jon. "Can I go now, HRH?”

"You're not going to read the card?" Jon asked, crestfallen.

Of course there’s a card. Shit. Double shit. "I'd rather not," I announced quite haughtily.

He strode over to the coffee table with long, sure steps. "Okay then," he said loudly, pulling the card from the bouquet before I could grab it up, "I'll read it."

"Oh shit," I mumbled under my breath. I wanted to run from the room so I wouldn’t have to hear this. But, I knew that even if I weren’t too proud to run, I’d never make it out of the room before he got the words out. Just “suck it up Sally,” as my brother would say.

Jon opened the little envelope quickly. "I'm sure this is like closing the barn door after the cow's gotten out, but I know Flash-bang could use the clothes. Love, Jon," he read out loud to the room.

Everyone burst into laughter, even David. I didn’t find it quite as amusing. "Are we done here?" I asked, tossing my head proudly, and causing the tie on my robe to slip a little. It was satin, after all. David gasped, but I made no move to reach for it.

"I don't know," Jon told me, raising one eyebrow in an unspoken question. "Are we?"

I knew what he was asking. He wanted to know if we were done with the paybacks. I thought on it a minute. I had to give it to him, this was good, made better by the fact that he'd made me participate in the procurement of said payback. I sighed and gave him a long hard look, acknowledging that I understood the real meaning behind his question. "Yeah, I believe we are," I told him, before turning on my heel and marching back to the bedroom.